NEW EVALUATION SYSTEM FOR 2009

The HAUNTED HOUSE HOTLINE has been continuously evolving since its' inception in 1999 when it was available only in the audio version which still is available. The original goal was to let callers know where the best Haunted Attractions were. Period.

We used reviews and numerical ratings. We clearly stated often that the ratings were NOT intended to compare the relative merits of one haunt to another, but rather to judge how well each individual haunt accomplished what they set out to do.

For example, we might go to a haunt in a couple semi-tractor trailers sponsored by the Little League and a large scale Mega Haunt in the same night.  They BOTH blow us away with awesome shows and they both get 5 STARS. Are they equal? Of course not.

But some people didn't "get it." Too many. And it got worse.

The numerical ratings took on an unwanted competitive life-of-their-own. We tried to prevent it, but it was inevitable. The LAST thing we wanted to do was pit haunts against each other!

So in 2009, we're trying something different. We'll continue our quest as usual but WITHOUT the numerical ratings. We'll be focusing more on individual achievements of special merit, which in a sense is still a rating. Without the "HOW MANY STARS" mindset we hope to make 2009 our best and MOST POSITIVE year yet!

Instead of numerical ratings, specific attributes or recommendations will appear in BOLD PINK PRINT.

2009 REVIEWS

ADRIAN

THE HAUNTING

602 North Dean Street, Adrian, MI at the Lenawee County Fairgrounds

(517) 264-1941 or www.myhaunting.com

ZIOPTIS SEZ 2009 - ANOTHER WILD SHOW FROM ONE OF THE MASTERS OF THE ART

They started with a new lobby feel and some new photo opportunities to prove you were brave! One of our favorites is the first-year-made original "Electrocution Jack" model. It's in nearly mint condition!

The 2009 show is "LOST," and that's EXACTLY what will happen to you here. Rooms might disappear, or hallways change directions. And that's the TAME part.

If you're considering going here you need to be aware that it's a bona fide BBB site. No, not Better Business Bureau...that's BIZARRE BACTERIA BOOTCAMP!

Sensory deprivation gives way to sensory blasting in short order here and you better hope you don't get quarantined to Level 13. But actually, hope won't get you anywhere in this MIXED-UP MADHOUSE OF MILITARY MISFITS!

Also features the "3 Dementia" 3D display which is over 10,000 square feet alone. The walls come alive, and be careful not to fall into the Infinity Floor!

As usual this haunt has great sound, actors, makeup, props, etc. One of our favorite actresses had a highly distinct "stutter laugh" that is quite unsettling. And there's a whole new twist on the all-too-familiar chain saw dude that will take you by surprise! We LOVED it. We're sure you will too. GO!

Also feature the "MANIC MAZE" which unfortunately we didn't have time for.

ALLEGAN

FRENZY HAUNTED HOUSE

115 Mill District Road, Allegan, MI 49010

(269) 355-1395

ZIOPTIS SEZ 2009 - ADDAMS FAMILY HOME ON STEROIDS AND A HALF

This is one of those places that just looks spooked out to begin with, all by itself. It resembles a giant house as you arrive, across a bridge you walk over from the parking area. But it was a saw mill, and there's some spooked out stuff about this place in real life!

Imagine for a moment you're a haunt operator checking out your new building for the first time...you open a door and walk into a room that's got hundreds of school desks, all mangled up and strewn about...enough to make even Alice Cooper proud! ("School's Out Forever")

Another room has thousands of bags piled up every which way. Some weird stuff happened for these rooms to be so discombobulated, and some of the rooms could've be left exactly "as is" for a haunt!

NOT OPEN IN 2010...BUMMER! We were looking forward to going

BROWNSTOWN

TWIST OF EVIL

20781 Gibraltar Road, Brownstown, MI

(734) 692-5957 or www.twistofevil.com

ZIOPTIS SEZ 2009 - NEW KID ON THE BLOCK MAKING DEBUT

This new haunt is in the Kroger Shopping Center, a fairly typical strip mall near Lake Erie Metropark.

BURTON

THE CRYPT

at CHEMCO, 4247 South Dort Highway, Burton, MI

(810) 742-2260

ZIOPTIS SEZ 2009 - EXCELLENT HAUNT, GREAT SOUND QUALITY & SCENE VARIETY

Lots of planning is evident here. Excellent attention to detail throughout, with a wide variety of crazy props and feels. Cool actors round out the package, interacting in every which way you can imagine!

This haunt has been a fixture on the scene for good reason! And that's in the Flint area, where there's TONS of quality haunts within a few miles. If you don't have a killer haunt, you'll be chewed up spit out by all the other great haunts on DORT HIGHWAY.

In fact, you can easily have a great night of haunting with no planning at all. Just get 'yer butt on DORT HIGHWAY and go either direction. And you probably won't even be able to do them all. There's just way too many...but we'd say that's a nice problem to have!

CLARKSTON

HAUNTED FOUNTAINS

6060 Maybee Road, Clarkston, MI 48346

at Fountains Golf & Banquet

(248) 625-3731 or www.fountainsgolf.com

ZIOPTIS SEZ 2009 - Their first year (2008) was good, their second year is GREAT!

This is the ONLY STRETCH GOLF CART HAUNT IN THE USA. But that's NOT what makes this haunt so unique. Their quirky style of interaction only comes with excellent improvisational skills. You'll take a WILD RIDE THAT STARTS BEFORE YOU GET ON THE CART!

Not in the Fear Finder or Haunt Guide.

CORUNNA

McCURDY'S REVENGE

Inside the heated Commercial Building of McCurdy Park downtown www.mccurdysrevenge.com or  (517) 625- 7207

ZIOPTIS SEZ 2009 - ATTEND THIS CRAZY UNIVERSITY AT YOUR OWN RISK

The admissions officer is really nice, and a fox too! But something's wrong...she's TOO nice, and anxious for you to sign up and sign your life away. But she won't tell YOU that, you'll find out the hard way in this CRAZY COLLEGE OF HARD KNOCKS AND THINGS THAT GO BUMP! IN THE NIGHT.

Amazing amounts of old and new props, strategically placed so you'll see everything clearly.

No matter how lousy your grade point average is, this University will gladly admit you for a bargain rate. Getting out is another matter, and TOTALLY at their discretion. It's NOT up to you! You are POWERLESS. Not kidding...you'll find out!

DAVISON

THE DEADLAND HAUNTED HOUSE

723  South State Street in Davison Plaza on M-15 1/4 mile north of I-69

(810) 654-2481

ZIOPTIS SEZ 2009 - FANTASTIC HAUNT WITH GREAT MAKEUP, SCARES, AND AMAZING ATTENTION TO DETAIL!

An entertainment value at only $10! The actors are fabulous here, clever enough to adapt quickly and effectively. They probably took Improv Classes and aced the course!

This haunt really mixes it up with MENTAL stimulus of every sort as well as an amazing blend of genuine antiques and haunt goodies. ONE-OF-A-KIND FROM AN EXPERIENCED PRO!

TOP RECOMMENDATION FOR THE DEADLAND HAUNTED HOUSE!!!

FENTON

UNCLE SCOOTER'S CHOP SHOP

3115 West Thompson Road Suite C, Fenton, MI 48430

www.unclescooters.com

ZIOPTIS SEZ 2009 - FANTASTIC FIRST YEAR HAUNT!

This is a first time haunt from some experienced people in the field. Excellent creative interaction and lots of unique quirkiness. ONE TO WATCH

UNKNOWN STATUS IN 2010

FOWLERVILLE, MICHIGAN

SLAUGHTER HOUSE HAYRIDE

5781 Grand River Avenue (exit 133 off I-96)

(517) 223-9148 or www.slaughterhouseadventure.com

ZIOPTIS SEZ 2009 - HOT STUFF - ULTIMATE SENSORY BLAST FROM A HAYRIDE!

This haunt was unfairly hindered this year from operating their excellent and always very safe walk thru haunt. Don't get me started...

Anyway, even without the barn happening this is still worth checking out. The same DIY ingenuity they applied to the walk thru shines brightly in the hayride.

Laughing, screaming, gasping...they mix it up big time and leave you scratching your head. HOW did they do that?!

Have you ever been to a Motley Crue show? They're big on pyrotechnics as well as notorious bad boy attitudes. They do EVERYTHING BIG.

Kinda like SLAUGHTER HOUSE! Their new 2009 show has the THE MOST AMAZING THUNDEROUS EXPLOSION WE'VE SEEN AT A HAUNT! How big? How about a blast producing an explosion about 25 feet wide and 30 feet high? Pretty much like we saw at Cruefest last summer at DTE Energy Music Theater (but we still call it Pine Knob). And they conceived, believed and achieved this all on their own. That's why they have gags you won't see anywhere else!

Previously we raved about their "disappearing easy-chair room," which was precision engineered by this bunch of farmers hell-bent on producing the coolest haunt in the county where Hell is!

GRAND RAPIDS

NIGHTS OF FEAR

3518 Plainfield Avenue NE Grand Rapids, MI 49525

www.nightsoffear.com

ZIOPTIS SEZ 2009 - AWESOME TRIPLE ATTRACTION HAUNT DELIVERS THE GOODS

Get ready to have your senses blasted, and then deprived completely as you make your way thru a sea of weirdness leading to the House of Shadows.

But "House of Shadows" is a misnomer really. You can't have a shadow with NO light at all, and it was PITCH BLACK! Wandering thru the unknown with only your fingertips to guide you can freak out unsuspecting, squeamish fans...BOOM! They did their job, mission accomplished.

Are you afraid of clowns? Watch out...the 3D CLOWNS will make your eyes pop out of their sockets when you're least expecting it!

Afterwards, you can hang out on some comfy couches with your friends and fiends eager to meet and consume you! You have been properly warned...now the only thing left for you to do is ignore those warnings and take your chances. Trust us when we tell you that ignoring dire warnings has never been so deliciously and devilishly alluring!

JONESVILLE

DARKSYDE ACRES

11735 Rowe Road, Jonesville, MI

(517) 549-5100 or www.darksydeacres.com

ZIOPTIS SEZ 2009 - A MONSTER IN THE MAKING

Someone once said: If you don't dream and think big, you'll never be big.

That describes this haunt perfectly; their dream/plan is to become the BIGGEST HAUNT IN MICHIGAN. Sounds like a tall order to us, and remember that MICHIGAN IS THE HAUNTED HOUSE CAPITAL OF WORLD.

But these guys might just pull off this amazing feat, because they've got the resources and the creativity necessary. There's hundreds and hundreds of acres available, and wild concepts abound here!

Features a ZOMBIE PAINTBALL MASSACRE this year, what a blast! Let's see...there's these evil dudes sneaking around and you get to HAVE YOUR GUN AND PULL THE TRIGGER TOO! Bang! (gun kicks back) Gotcha, you evil Zombie Creature...stay away from my girlfriend!

You might be able to ward off the Zombies from your beau, but there are some other weird creatures that will spin some tall tales here, completely irresistible. And remember, RESISTANCE IS FUTILE, YOU WILL BE ABSORBED. IT IS THE WILL OF BODYBAGGING ENTERTAINMENT AND DARKSYDE ACRES.

If Yoda were here now, he would say: "An inquisitive mind leads to curiosity, curiosity leads to knowledge of haunting, and haunting leads to the DarkSyde."

MAUMEE, OHIO (TOLEDO AREA)

TERRORTOWN

at Lucas County Fairgrounds, 1406 Key Street, Maumee, OH

(419) 897-7242 or www.terrortown.net

ZIOPTIS SEZ 2009 - ANOTHER AWESOME NEW SHOW FROM AN INDUSTRY LEADER

How DO they do it? Re-inventing a haunt of this magnitude is no small task, but they are fully committed to raising the bar every year.

We absolutely LOVED the black hole here! It's actually THREE of them placed end-to-end which we have seen before. But they have a new kind of blue paint that somehow gives a completely different ethereal feel. It is strikingly beautiful and eerie at the same time!

This haunt will assault all of your senses with a barrage of stunts, actors, and scenes from your wildest dreams/nightmares!

Be sure to check out the magic show too before you leave, it's worth the wait. You will be scratching your head trying to figure out "How can that be?!"

TOLEDO, OHIO

CHAINSAW CREEK

Westfield Franklin Park, 5100 Monroe St. (Sylvania Ave. side), Toledo, OH

(419) 343-7478 or www.chainsawcreek.com

ZIOPTIS SEZ 2009 - CRAZY MIXED-UP MULTI-HAUNT WILL BLOW YOUR MIND!

This haunt's future is secure. Not only does it offer a wide variety of haunting goodies from beyond, it's fully prepared for future changes in fire/electrical codes. Oh, and they can take it anywhere too.

But we hope they keep it RIGHT where it is, an easy drive from Detroit.

There are 4 different haunt structures here: County Morgue, The Asylum, The Black Swamp, and Circus of the Dead in 3D.

The black hole approach in the "Circus of the Dead in 3D" is quite different from most, but also highly effective. It's one giant unit with a really slow rotation, which we've seen before. But there's thousands of repeating individual designs instead of swirls or dots. And it gets better: those thousands of designs dance and float thru the air thanks to 3D glasses you wear. One of a kind to our knowledge!

NOT OPEN IN 2010, SHOULD BE BACK IN 2011 ACCORDING TO WEBSITE

PONTIAC

THE REALM OF DARKNESS

79 South Glenwood (248) 338-0029 or www.therealmofdarkness.com

ZIOPTIS SEZ 2009 - THE "COMEBACK KID" DOES IT AGAIN!

What a long, strange trip it's been...

This haunted house IS haunted. And they didn't even know it, until a truly amazing turn of events proved that reality is stranger than fiction! It's a story for the ages...pull up a chair and let me tell you what happened:

This haunt knows the meaning of bad luck first hand. Most people would've thrown in the towel after all that's happened here. But the head honcho here is one of the strongest and most dynamic women we've ever met!

Just imagine for a moment that you've got a business that gets totally flooded...twice! And that's AFTER you took extra precautions to prevent another flood after the first one.

And just for kicks, let's say the place starts hopping with REAL PARANORMAL ACTIVITIES verified by independent sources. Time to run for the hills? Or to face danger straight on and laugh at fate's cruel warnings?

The owner/operator here chose the second path. Brave, bold actions bring bold results. And those results have brought new dimensions to the haunter's experiences, even if they don't reach the wizard and get DOUBLE THEIR MONEY BACK!

SOUTH LYON

ERWIN ORCHARDS BARN OF HORRORS & HAUNTED CORN MAZE

61475 Silver Lake Road, South Lyon, MI 48178

(888) 8-CIDER-7 or www.erwinorchards.com

ZIOPTIS SEZ 2009 - WELL WORTH THE 5 YEAR WAIT

THIS HAUNT IS BACK BIG TIME after a 5 year hiatus. And we remember seeing great shows here prior to the inception of the Haunted House Hotline in 1999. And you won't believe how incredibly tasty the fresh cider is here!

The journey starts at the store area where you'll board a large wagon for a short trip to the haunted barn. The barn entrance area is both strikingly beautiful and strangely seductive. There are thousands of tiny blue LED lights, highlighted by fog rolling out a door and a floodlight.

FIFTEEN THOUSAND SMILING KIDS CAN'T BE WRONG.

In addition to the excellent walk thru haunt, there's a non-spooky barn for young children which is FANTASTIC! There's no live actors or scares, but lots of highly creative colorful flourescent artwork glowing and sophisticated animatronics displays of all sorts. A SURE WINNER WITH KIDS. In fact, FIFTEEN THOUSAND SCHOOLCHILDEN went thru here in 2009! Hmmm...they must be doing something right!

GRAND BLANC

SAINT LUCIFER'S HAUNTED ASYLUM

at Playland, 5290 South Dort Highway, 1/2 mile north off exit 109 from I-75. (810) 694-4710, (810) 695-8200 or www.fearfest.net

ZIOPTIS SEZ 2009 - A HOSPITAL NOT LIKELY TO HEAL ANYONE

The opening scene is dynamite! The girl explains you're entering a "working hospital" and warns that the patients can get violent if touched. Of course it's always "hands-off" at haunts with the actors, but here that takes on a whole new meaning. You'll see a most unique door that looks like no other and does things no door should do!

Awesome variety of strange sounds with excellent sound quality. Good monster surprises from all over, physically oriented gags, and a chance to get some really special new playmates!

There's an odd collection of taxidermy, and we were subjected to some strange demands from nun "Sister Mary Clarence." And near the end there's a very unique lighting concept involving a door that's impossible to ignore!

We had the joy of taking a young family with us here, including 2 girls aged 11 and 13 that had NEVER BEEN TO A HAUNTED HOUSE BEFORE! Here are verbatim comments made immediately after exiting: "I liked the birthing (canal)...I'd hate to go to THAT hospital...I liked where you couldn't see and with the flashing lights, you had to follow the voice...I liked when people were behind bars..."

GRAND BLANC

CELLBLOCK 13

At Playland, 5290 South Dort Highway, 1/2 mile north off exit 109 from I-75.

ZIOPTIS SEZ 2009 - TWO COOL HAUNTS AT ONE LOCATION

Now teamed up with St. Lucifer's at Playland to streamline the haunt experience!

Have you even been in jail? A rather unsettling experience awaits you here...

Don't get caught with your hand in the cookie jar, you DO NOT want to end up incarcerated here! Nice place to visit if you like quirky haunt experiences, but you wouldn't want to live there...trust me!

HAZEL PARK

HOUSE OF FEAR

Hazel Park Community Center, 620 Woodward Heights

(9 1/2 Mile and I-75)  (248) 547-5535

ZIOPTIS SEZ 2009 - BARGAIN PRICED HAUNT DELIVERS PREMIUM THRILLS!

LENOX TOWNSHIP

HAUNTED FARM OF TERROR

28405 26 Mile Road, Lenox Township, MI

(586) 615-0475 or www.myspace.com/hfterror

ZIOPTIS SEZ 2009 - A FEAST FOR THE SENSES INCLUDING TASTE!

There's SO much to do and experience here, plan on staying for awhile.

Come here hungry for two things:

1. An awesome haunt experience.

2. Tasty food several cuts above the rest.

IS THIS A HAUNT OR THE CRAZY OLYMPICS?

That's one of many questions we asked ourselves going thru "Devil's Diner," the walk-thru part of this haunt. The monsters here have amazing dexterity! With crazed gymnastics maneuvers they pop out from EVERYWHERE, often suddenly appearing out of thin air INCHES away from you. Talk about invading your personal space!

Soon enough, they make it clear that this is THEIR personal space...how DARE you intrude? The descriptions alone of what they plan to do to you are worth the price of admission! WILD VOCALIZATIONS WITH SUPERIOR SINISTER STRANGENESS.

THE HAYRIDE IS BOTH INCREDIBLE AND HILARIOUS!

The hayride features two goofballs who will steal your soul and make you laff 'yer ass off while doing it! The custom soundtrack changes often from spooky sounds to rock music songs that perfectly compliment the scares/scenes.

The sound quality is superb with crisp, clear high frequencies without being shrill or piercing to the ear. And the bass response is deep, yet clear and distinct. IDEAL SOUND SYSTEM EQ. The performers themselves ensure SPILIT-SECOND PRECISION at several key moments, providing a PERFECT AUDIO MIX EVERY TIME. Highly effective, you'll see...

The "Road Kill Cafe" is the perfect place to unwind with some tasty treats after your experience. Or, come hungry and partake of SUPERIOR HAUNTING SUSTENANCE! There's a big menu, and they kindly offered any and all of it including the kitchen sink to us! We tried the "Taco-in-a-Bag," donuts and cider.

The "Taco-in-a-Bag" is just that. A single-serving size potato chip bag is emptied and filled with delectable taco ingredients MINUS THE FRIED TACO SHELL. And that's a good thing. (sorry, Martha) Healthier and delicious! And the locally produced cider is TOTALLY UNDILLUTED which is all-too-rare nowadays. So if you like your Michigan cider STRAIGHT & UNADULTERATED this is where you'll find it. To your health...DRINK UP THE GOOD STUFF!

Afterwards, you can watch scary movies on a really big screen that boasts excellent picture quality, or trade stories around the bonfire sipping hot cider.

LENOX TOWNSHIP

SCAREFEST SCREAM PARK

61288 Gratiot at 28 Mile Road, Lenox Township, MI

(586) 749-6666 or www.scarefestscreampark.com

ZIOPTIS SEZ 2009 - BACK WITH A VENGEANCE

This haunt suffered a forced abbreviated season in 2008, but things are in full swing now with a new show. The hayride is the big draw here, but you'll want to check out the forest walk too if you have time.

Speaking of time...if at all possible you should arrive BEFORE the first hayride goes out. We're not telling why, but you'll be glad we didn't spill the beans!

The hayride narrator/host is AWESOME. He sports some nasty scissor hands and makeup, but what really sets him apart are his great vocalizations and spontaneous creativity. Sure, there's a basic script/storyline to follow. But when you've got an actor of this caliber you've GOT to let him ad-lib! And he's got the ghoulish, gruff voice that's just right with clear, distinct pronunciation as well.

The public address system (PA) is excellent with constant spooky sounds, perfectly mixed on the fly to not drown out the narration. Actually it's probably "ducking," which uses an audio compressor to automatically fade the music when the actor speaks. Radio stations commonly use this at the beginning of songs so the DJ is heard over the music.

The cart itself is custom made, sort of a double decker set-up. There's a raised sitting surface in the middle and enough room for others to sit close to the edge. Hay is thrown on as needed after each trip.

The haunted forest walk will thrust you from sensory overload to sensory deprivation!

MILLINGTON

NIGHT STALKERS HAUNTED HOUSE

on M-15 in Millington

www.nightstalkershh.com

ZIOPTIS SEZ 2009 - A-LIST HAUNT DELIVERS THE GOODS

This is a haunt we checked out at the urging of some enthusiastic fans a few years ago, and they've blown us away every time we went!

The building is ideal for a haunt, a multi-level structure built to last. Seasoned pros deliver the goods big time to throngs of adoring masses here!

REDFORD

REDFORD JAYCEES WOODBINE PSYCH WARD

12300 Woodbine, Redford, MI

http://www.reelactionfx.com/hauntedhouse.html

ZIOPTIS SEZ 2009 - DYNAMIC NEW HAUNT FROM OLD FRIENDS

The influx of Hollywood to the Detroit area is apparent here, as the Redford Jaycees team up with Reel Action FX who've been involved with various film projects.

ROMULUS

REALM OF HAUNTED MINDS

Huron Turkey Farm, 18910 Merriman Road, Romulus, MI 48174 (corner of Sibley, entrance on Sibley)

(734) 753-9187 or www.myspace.com/huronturkeyfarm

ZIOPTIS SEZ 2009 - TOP NOTCH ENTERTAINMENT AND VITTLES

This haunt features an actress that is SO creepy and unique that she will burn a lasting image in your mind's eye that you won't be able to erase for a very long time!

She appeared near the ending of our journey...but who knows where or when your encounter will be. But one thing is clear: she'll grab your soul and juggle it between her sinister intentions and provocative actions!

Excellent sound and lighting throughout! And there's a mini-maze at the end that's trickier than it looks...

TAYLOR

THE EXTREME SCREAM

7868 Telegraph, 1/2 mile south of I-94 in ESSCO square

ZIOPTIS SEZ 2009 - OLD SCHOOL AT ITS' BEST! THIS is the haunt known for lots of pitch black passageways, and some tight twists and turns now too. The ANTICIPATION alone is enough to make even the most seasoned haunter apprehensive!

Highly effective minimalist approach, sometimes less is more. The strobe lights are calibrated to a very slow, lazy pattern that will throw you off! Most haunts crank the strobe rate up and you get the familiar stutter-motion effect strobe lights were originally designed to produce.

Ultra high intensity actors and superior sound content and quality throughout. And there's one room that will certainly confuse you..."Wait a second, didn't we JUST..." You'll understand, oh wait...you WON'T understand when you see it!

TAYLOR

PAPP PARK HAUNTED HOUSE & HAYRIDE

in Papp Park, 1/2 mile west of Telegraph. Take Telegraph to Wick Road west, go approximately 1/2 mile to Westlake and turn left. Entrance will then be on the right.

(313) 295-4010

ZIOPTIS SEZ 2009 - GO!

A new crew is running the walk-thru part of this haunt, which benefits the Northwest Taylor Little League. Lots of close-up and personal scares will get you while you twist and turn your way thru this cleverly designed modular haunt.

The hayride is improved yet again, and next year will sport a new surround sound system.

WALKER, MICHIGAN (Grand Rapids area)

THE HAUNT

2070 Waldorf Northwest, Walker, MI

(616) 222-5000 or (616) 785-9818 or www.the-haunt.com

1 mile south of I-96 at exit 28 Walker Avenue

DYNAMITE NEW SHOW AND DANCE ROUTINE!

ZIOPTIS SEZ 2009 - WOW!

THIS HAUNT WILL KNOCK YOUR SOCKS OFF, THEN BLOW YOUR MIND AND SPIT YOUR SOUL OUT!

The actors have been screened and coached by top-notch personnel here. But the show starts before you enter the haunt, and it's impressive.

Once again, there's a clever dance routine in the waiting area but it's all new again with different dancers, lighting, sound and feel. IT'S DYNAMITE!

The haunt itself is one of the most elaborate haunts you'll ever see, with an amazing variety of rooms and actors of every size, shape, and demeanor imaginable!

One of our favorites is a character who's totally in his own world, oblivious to reality and his immediate need for intense psychiatric intervention! Will he get it? Forget that...you should be more concerned with your mental health, because this haunt may cause those horrible embarrassing psychological stains that won't go away anytime soon.

Photo opportunities near the exit are available to prove you were cool/brave enough to hang with the local ghouls!

WARREN

DEADLY INTENTIONS

20900 Dequindre, one block north of 8 mile in Warren

(248) 797-0676 or www.deadlyintentionshaunt.com

ZIOPTIS SEZ 2009 - WILD & CRAZY IN-YOUR-FACE INSANITY!

Slobber and his band of merry misfits have done it again! A new show yet retains the core values which have defined this haunt thru the years.

Features sensory deprivation AND overload with quick transitions to confuse your senses. This leaves them highly susceptible to whims and deviant behaviors they are famous for!

Whacked out performer CREEPY CLYDE will be appearing here to entertain happy haunters as they wait in line.

OPENING WEEKEND SPECIAL - Go thru as many times as you like for the price of only one ticket!

WESTLAND

WESTLAND JAYCEES HOUSE OF THE DEVIL

1645 Wayne Road, Westland, MI 48185

South of Ford Road, behind the Wayne Ford Civic League

(734) 226-0400

ZIOPTIS SEZ 2009 - WESTLAND JAYCEES COME THRU AGAIN

This haunt has heart and soul. The heartbeat grows louder and stronger each season. And their soul is at the very essence that led to the Haunted Attraction genre as a modern-day art form for the adventurous and brave to begin with!

Hollywood types eventually latched on as well, and we have a slew of massive mega-haunts hitting the scene.

But you never forget your first love. Or your first haunted house that scared the crap out of you!

To be honest, this Jaycees haunt is lacking a lot of things you'll see at the Hollywood style haunts. But you won't miss them at all.

You won't see all the latest and greatest animatronics. They're expensive and can break down at the worst possible moment, we've seen it happen. They don't believe in them, their scares are hands-on and up close personal. Boo! Argggh! 

With the right misdirection and some genuine gusto, the simplest scares can be the most effective. I remember a seminar at HauntCon 2007 on highly effective scares. The instructors' props for the first demonstration were only two items: a paper grocery bag, and a flashlight. In quiet total darkness, the actor rustles the paper bag then briefly shines the flashlight on himself. Only TWO bucks of parts can give a thrill that feels like a MILLION!

It's all in the presentation. Ya' gotta know your stuff, and FEEL IT. Oh yeah, lots of practice and experience go a long way too. The kind you get from scaring the heebie-jeebies out of people since the early days of Mutilation Mansion and Anxiety Alley. And WHO was behind all this crazy madness way-back-when? Your local, friendly/fiendish Jaycees, that's who. Don't forget it, it's our heritage!

Brand new for 2009 is a thrilling ride in something you would never consider entering, if you're sane and alive that is. "Help, Mister Wizard...let me off!" Their special mind-spinner will do a number on you, leaving you oh-so-vulnerable. Now they've got you just where they want. And they are not friendly, they're crazy. You'll see...

WESTLAND

HAUNTED HALLOWS

VFW Post at 6440 Hix Road between Ford & Warren

 (734) 536-3651, (734) 751-4312 or www.haunted-hallows.com

ZIOPTIS SEZ 2009 - THIS IS A FIRST RATE HAUNT

Short hayride leaves you in the woods, leaving you to make your way back thru an awesome variety of scenes. Great actors and makeup throughout!

Also features a short-but-sweet corn maze at the end with great monster interaction.

Afterwards, you can relax around the fire sipping hot cider and trading stories of bravery and/or cowardice!

THIS HAS BECOME AN ANNUAL MUST-SEE HAUNT

WHITE LAKE

TERROR ON THE TRAIL

at Crown V Ranch, 5300 East Highland Road, White Lake 48383  Look for Highland Recreation Area.

(248) 887-4779 or www.crownvranch.com

ZIOPTIS SEZ 2009 - FIRST TIME EFFORT BLASTS ONTO HAUNT SCENE

The path is clear, just follow the votive candles. They make it sound easy. But soon enough we lost our way, falling victim to confusing doors, stray goons, and things that go BUMP in the chilly night air.

WHITE LAKE

HOME OF THE HEADLESS HORSEMAN

Pontiac Lake Riding Stables, 3480 Teggerdine Road, White Lake 48386

(248) 625-5431 or www.pontiaclakeridingstable.com

ZIOPTIS SEZ 2009 - BREATHTAKING SCENERY AND SCARES

Sometimes less is more. The ride seems too quiet, but there's a good reason why. You won't find all the latest animatronics or fancy, convoluted props here. But you won't miss them at all.

THEY WILL GETCHA! And NOT just how you'd think, based on the name of this haunt. They totally fooled even us with this great gag! KUDOS TO THIS YOUNG HAUNT.

This haunt offers 2 ways to journey, on a cart or walking the path to fend for yourself!